Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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