When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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