i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Randomize
