oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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