dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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