i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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