We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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