...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize