You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
