Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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