Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
