honey bunches of taint.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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