Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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