I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
