I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize