either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
