He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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