He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
