She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
