Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
