There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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