OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
