I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
