Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
