He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
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Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
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Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize