Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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