how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
