i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
my poor anus
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
