Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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