is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
