So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
