This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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