I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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