you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
