you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
