There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
