ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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