i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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