do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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