yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
