If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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