guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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