Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
