You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
