apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
