Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
