Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
