Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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