You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
