This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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