she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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