I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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