...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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