She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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