dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
