My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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