My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
