Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
