summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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