Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
